As I attempt to write this message in a way that it could sound eloquent and intellectual, the truth comes down undeniably to expressing this situation directly how I feel and how I see it.
The value that we place in our body is the value we are expecting to receive back from the person we give it to.
When I speak about us giving our bodies to men, I am not only referring to sexual intercourse, but I also refer to any type of action you do to satisfy the sexual drive of a man or even to obtain a tiny bit of his attention.
I was once the type of woman that used to tell friends how proud she was to have a nightstand or even better, a “sex buddy”. In reality, I would be satisfying their needs but going back home with a greater emptiness and void in my heart and with a sorrow that I couldn’t be explained.
Why? Why did I feel alone? Why did I feel empty and depressed? Why did I feel as if I had done something wrong? I just had sex with a pretty sexy guy who I met in the club,
Then why do I feel unsatisfied?
I would think.
I was the kind of woman who would go out every weekend in the adventure of getting “tipsy” which truly meant drunk, and in the journey not to simply find someone, but to go on a spree to get the most men to look at me with the eyes of perverted passion and desire. I was in a mission!
The reason why I share with you this personal experience is because I know how it feels from the moment we feel the desire to do this and how it feels after we do it. I have realized more and more that this so called “freedom” of having random sex has driven women to become no more than just a tool for satisfying someone’s sexual need. There is no value in the body of women any longer because we stopped placing any value on ourselves a long time ago.
The truth is that the consequences of our insecurities and our conflicted ideology of what free and sexy means have become radical impediments for solid and beautiful love relationships. The moment we allowed men to see us as objects, created a domino effect where they started to have less responsibilities and expectations towards women. They started to realize that a woman would give her body for absolutely nothing back; not even RESPECT. The word commitment went through the window and the word love became a laughing matter, but the saddest part of all is that at the end of all the striving to satisfy a man’s sexual needs, the only thing the HEART of a woman is craving is unconditional love.
Women keep on giving their mouths, their hands, and every single part of their bodies (not to be specific even though we know darn well how anatomy works) as part of a sacrifice waiting in return for a blessing, but they seem oblivious of the root of the problem:
WE DO NOT NEED TO GIVE OURSELVES AS SACRIFICE
for someone who has not devoted their hearts to you. And even if he has devoted to you, your body is so valuable that this man has to commit himself to you.
You see… we have placed the order of the cards wrong. A person who has had sex with you for days, months or years still has no commitment to you. He can walk away at any time because he doesn’t owe you any respect; you never demanded it. The actual order is: first comes true love who will commit himself to you and then comes the spiritual connection through the act of loving each other, as it was called back in the day “knowing each other”. We give our bodies to the one who deserves to touch your precious body.
We have to stop allowing sex drive to drive the world. Yes it is so yummy! It is so awesome, it is so amazing, but what are the consequences of giving ourselves to someone who the next day will not call you because you have already given him the temporary satisfaction that can be actually given by any other woman?
No, I am sorry to tell you, you are not the best as doing oral sex! There will always be someone else who will do it too! So if this guy is basing his love, his desire for you, and his decision to date you based on how soon you have sex with him, I can tell you right now this man is not placing any value in you. You don't have to proof him you are worthy because you already know you are and sex would not be a determinant of that value.
My question is: would you please start being aware of the value of your body, heart and soul?
And as I ask this, before you answer please know that God loves you and He accepts you as you are and there is nothing wrong with you. He loves you unconditionally and He is the protector of your heart. I declare purity over your my lovely friend. No more shame in your life and no more condemnation. The day is today when you start realizing how precious and worthy you are.
You are loved.